You can't text-message breakup
The day after boyfriend revealed that he wasn't all that interested in maintaining a connection with me, he tried calling me but I was in the library so I didn't pick up. His message just said "Call me back, love you bye." I called him and he didn't answer so I left him a message, just saying I was calling him back.
The next day, I received a text from him:
"Hey baby sorry I didn't call back I went to be early last night. Love you"
After he's made such a huge deal about me chilling out when he forgets to call or waits a long time to talk to me, I was surprised and frustrated by his attentiveness. Why did he always become so attentive only when something was wrong? I wasn't being fooled. I also wasn't sure what I wanted to do still, so I decided not to talk to him until I had cleared my thoughts.
When he called me that night, I had fallen asleep and didn't get his message until the next morning. In it, he again asked that I call him back. When I looked at my computer, I saw that he had instant messaged me saying "Are you there?" Jeez, he was being persistent. What was the deal?
In the middle of class today, I got another text from him. It read: "MBIC can you at least text me so I know you're ok?"
I wasn't sure what to tell him. Was I okay? He probably meant physically, but I honestly wasn't all that okay in general. I wanted to tell him this but wasn't sure what I wanted to come from any conversation I had with him. I decided to wait until I could figure out what to tell him.
After class, I hung out with friends for a bit, then went home and called my dad. In the middle of our conversation, L called me and told me that boyfriend had texted her to ask if I was okay. She had told him that I was. I was frustrated because I had been obsessing about my answer to him for a while. He had also had Loser 1 text me. When I got off the phone with my dad, I saw that I had three texts. One of them was from boyfriend. It read: "Well that's it MBIC. Didn't want to end it like this after 3 years. I can't deal with this anymore."
I was confused. Was this him breaking up with me, or did he still want to talk? I responded: "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do about what we talked about & I don't know what to say because I'm still upset about it & don't have a lot of time to think right now."
Him: "I don't think this is going to work. At least not now."
What did at least not now mean? I needed more information. Did he expect us to see each other during the break still? Did he want to "keep in touch," or stop talking?
I wrote: "Do you want to talk at all?"
Him: "Not today.. Work all day"
Okay... I asked if he wanted to talk at all, not today. I wrote "Okay but do you want to talk at all?"
Me: "When would you like to talk?"
Him: "I don't know MBIC I don't have a lot of time to talk for 3 hours with work and finals on Tuesday. Next week I guess. I don't really feel like talking now anyway."
I wasn't sure we would need three hours, but I couldn't force him to talk to me. It was frustrating that he was avoiding me, though.
I wrote: "I just want to know what you want to do. When you said sure, I took that to mean yes.. I'm not trying to force you, just let me know if you want to or not"
Him: "I don't want to be together right now and I feel like I owe you an explanation. I wouldn't just stop talking to you. That's not right. I'm sure you know that."
I was surprised by this. He sounded like he was avoiding me, but pulled the "I'm a gentleman" card? Interesting... and painful. At this point, I didn't know that. I replied: "Well I'd like to talk too, it's just not my place to force you. I didn't mean to worry you, I'm sorry about that."
Him: "I don't have a lot to say."
Okay? What did that mean? And if he didn't have a lot to say, why did he foresee the conversation lasting three hours? "What do you mean?"
Him: "I don't have a lot to talk about. I'll listen to you but I've made up my mind."
What the hell?!! Did he expect me to beg him to change his mind? No fucking way. He sounded so full of himself. My only regret was that he wasn't begging me for forgiveness over how crappily he was treating me. "I'm not going to try to change your mind, just let me know if/when you'd like to talk" I wrote.
A few minutes later, he wrote: "Would you want to talk in person on Friday?"
Wait a whole week? On the one hand, that was a long time to wait. On the other, it would be nice to have a meaningful conversation in person for once. I wouldn't be getting in until 10pm though, and it would be kind of crappy of me to get home with my parents to leave and have a breakup conversation. But I wasn't sure what I wanted and I didn't want to think about it. "Sure" I told him.
I sort of thought we would break up, I just thought it would be over the break. I'm kind of pissed that my decision was taken away from me because he decided first, but it's also relieving in a sense.
Still... it sucks.