Teachers give extensions, not girlfriends
A week ago, I was so over grudges, but that was a week ago.
Boyfriend, who had promised that he was close to finishing my anniversary gift (from October 25th), still hasn't finished it. A couple days ago I asked about it again.
"Oh yeah, so how's the present coming?" The question was no longer sympathetic, I realized, because all I wanted to know was why it wasn't done yet.
"Well... I can't tell you what happened without completely giving it away," He said. "I just ran into another problem and it's taking a while to fix." He sounded sincere. Then again, he had also sounded sincere weeks before when he told me it would only take a few more days to complete.
"Oh, okay."
After forgetting about it for so long and being so understanding, the whole thing is really starting to nag me. I called my dad to see what I should do.
"Don't say anything about this before you get the gift," he advised. "You don't have all of the information right now. Don't even bring the gift up again. When you get the gift you'll be better able to tell whether it took a lot of time or it took 30 minutes to make and he just put it off."
It was true, but I was still frustrated. I couldn't tell him how annoyed I was getting?
"After you get it, tell him the impact its lateness had on you. That way he won't feel nagged by you or tempted to abandon it or give it to you resentfully."
And in the meantime, what to do? He had texted me last night saying "I love you" and I hadn't answered. Since then, I haven't heard from him - for the first night in a while, he neither called nor emailed. And I plan to wait and see how long it takes him.
Maybe he's busy working on the gift... hah.
posted by myboyfriendiscrazy @ 4:53 PM
12 Comments:
Your dad is right...you don't know what he's making. Maybe he really is working hard on it and it really is taking this long (and maybe it's really a great gift!). And if not, you really have a great reason to let him have it when he finally gives the gift to you.
I've run into "problems" when I took too long to order something on Amazon.com (I swear! They didn't deliver it on time!). It'd have to be awfully good for those excuses. But your dad is right... and I echo Becky.
Only more cynical.
And I plan to wait to see how long it takes him.
FWIW, some people (not just guys) call that playing games. Maybe Boyfriend is just an idiot and can't get the gift right... but regardless, he'll sense the games.
Your dad is so incredibly wise. Excellent advice.
you are not playing games as martian said. You are finally reaching the I have had enough of this shit point. You are doing the absolute right thing by not calling and such. Let him figure it out. He will.
As for the gift, does it really really matter?
My boyfriend did the same thing (said he was writing a song for my birthday last month that I have yet to hear). He too has stopped calling and emailing as often as he used to. Perhaps it is time to let him go?
OH MY GOD. JUST GET RID OF HIM ALREADY.
He forgot to get you a gift.
My guess is that he waited too long to get you a gift. Then, he came up with a really great idea. Then, it didn't work out the way he planned. Then, he knew you would be pissed because it wouldn't be this really great gift. Now, he's just putting you off because he doesn't know what to do.
This is nonsense and someday you'll wake up to the fact that....
HE'S NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!
I like your dad. He gives good advice and I'm jealous I don't have the same relationship with my father.
As for boyfriend, I think you're doing the right thing. Waiting for him to make a move will give you a good perspective on the effort he is putting forth. Sometimes it takes guys a while to catch on to what you are doing but when he does call, you'll be able to point out to him that he isn't putting forth enough effort and should work on that.
I think his intentions are good. Sometimes guys are harder to figure out than girls are.
Did you fuck another guy during your break with boyfriend when you moved on?
I have to throw in my 2 cents on this post only because i have used this excuse b4..... what he is really saying by he is working on it and cant tell you is- he has no clue what to do for you so if he doesnt say what it is it leaves the door open for him to get or make anything,he is assumably continuing to forget to get the whole gift thing done so he postpones by saying working on it so you cant be mad because he is supposedly taking the time to MAEK it himself, i dont want to be the bearer of bad news but you proly arent going to get a gift period. Sorry
becky - Exactly... but it's really hard to wait. I want to yell NOW.
strange bird - Sadly, he is making something, which only makes it worse.
martian - I don't know, he's not particularly quick at interpreting my behavior. Especially since he usually calls me first anyway.
grizzbabe - It's why I talk to him :)
wendy - The gift really really matters. It's a 3 year anniversary and almost a month late.
anon - Perhaps... but it's hard to tell in a long distance relationship.
memoirs of a sheila - I highly doubt he forgot.
anon - Well he told me 2 weeks beforehand that he had decided on an idea and would be making the gift. Other than that I really don't know and don't want to speculate.
mrsunderstood - It's almost harder when I know his intentions are good!
jack - Nope.
superkid - I'd rather not make any assumptions. It'll just piss me off more.
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