The Group Meeting

Having been asked to talk a little bit about losers 1 & 2, and since boyfriend is being particularly boring of late (and I refuse to get mad at him over stupid things), I think I'll tell another story of our past.

As I previously revealed, when I first met boyfriend, I was told by his friends Losers 1 & 2 that he was only interested in dating a Christian girl. Being agnostic/uncaring (most of the time), I was a little perplexed. However, it seemed that boyfriend was interested in dating me, and he didn't require me to fill out an application beforehand.

So I was incredibly nervous when, in the very first serious conversation of our relationship, boyfriend asked me how I thought the world came to be. I was a little stunned by the question, and a few thoughts about dinosaurs, the big bang, and evolution flashed through my mind. But I wasn't sure what to say. I told boyfriend to go first. He started talking about Genesis, which I am completely unfamiliar with (besides pop culture references) and I went home that night feeling like I was about to lose my boyfriend.

However, as I later found out, boyfriend was not interested in dating only Christian girls. Losers 1 & 2 had told me that because they wanted to prevent us from getting together and thus have me for themselves. Ugh. Losers.

Later on down the road in our relationship, we got to that point where you spend most of your free time together. It was cute. No, it was. Not suffocating or unhealthy. Just cute. However, "cute" is not acceptable to men. Boyfriend's loser friends constantly bitched at him for hanging out with me so much, called him whipped and constantly used the phrase "Bros before hoes." I got incredibly scared that boyfriend would listen to them and turn into an utter asshole under their influence.

He did not. He told me that they were being idiots and were jealous that I had stolen him away. I agreed. Boyfriend was totally on my side! How fucking lucky was I?!

However, apparently my girl friends also felt somewhat traumatized by the lack of my presence. And, organized by the incomparably irritating short&hairy, we organized a "group meeting." Everyone assembled in my living room and voiced their grievances. We were being selfish and rude, and it was to the detriment of "the group." Boyfriend should hang out with "the guys" again (I think the phrase bros before hoes was actually used in this conversation, if you can imagine this) and I should hang out with "the girls."

The thing is, my girl friends weren't actually mad. Nor did they organize the meeting. It was Losers 1 & 2, along with short&hairy, who felt it necessary to organize a sit-down meeting to "put us straight" and force us to spend less time together. Way to behave like fucking children, assholes.

Boyfriend and I continued to see each other almost the same amount, but now that his friends had been such assholes about us being together, I became angry every time boyfriend left me to hang out with Losers 1 & 2. I keep hoping he'll find better friends.